Think Your Jokes Are Still Funny
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Bad jokes that are really pretty good
Ah, bad jokes. They're picayune guilty pleasures nosotros indulge in with giddy enthusiasm every chance we go. They make us groan, say "Are you lot serious?", and, of grade, brand usa chuckle. Bad jokes can be short, corny, punny, and deliver some of the best ane-liners ever. What'southward not to love?
If you're a sucker for a proficient bad joke, you're in luck. Beneath, you lot'll detect a listing of our funniest jokes that just so happen to pack groan-worthy punchlines. Savor!
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Knock knock.
Who'southward there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c–
MOO!
Nosotros had to start off this collection of bad jokes with one of the oldest knock-knock jokes in the volume.
4 / 177
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam.
Sometimes the best bad jokes are the shortest. Check out these short jokes for kids anyone can memorize.
vii / 177
What do yous get when y'all combine a rhetorical question and a joke?
…
Get it? Bad jokes don't even need a punch line to be funny! Bank check out the funniest jokes on the cyberspace.
ix / 177
Did y'all hear most the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-style. These hilarious fauna cartoons prove that animals are funnier than humans.
x / 177
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said, "Wow, it'south pretty hot in here." The other 1 shouted, "Wow, a talking muffin!" For more laughs, cheque out these travel cartoons that find the funny in everything.
eleven / 177
I sold my vacuum the other mean solar day.
All it was doing was collecting dust. If this one has you lot smirking, these dad jokes will really give yous a chuckle.
12 / 177
What is Forrest Gump'southward email password?
1forrest1.
xiii / 177
Did you lot hear almost the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize.
xiv / 177
Did you lot hear about the burn down in the shoe factory?
10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
fifteen / 177
What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum?
They're both purple except for the rabbit. This joke made exist bad, just these other "what's the divergence betwixt" jokes are hilarious!
16 / 177
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What'south your favorite blazon of music?" The other says, "I'm a large metal fan." Hither are some funny one-liners that are sure to become some laughs.
17 / 177
I like elephants.
Everything else is irrelephant. Read more elephant jokes that are a ton of laughs!
eighteen / 177
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
nineteen / 177
Two guys walk into a bar.
The third guy ducks.
twenty / 177
What do you phone call a fake noodle?
An impasta. If you thought this was funny, you'll love these other hilarious what practise you call jokes.
22 / 177
Did yous hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.
23 / 177
What exercise you lot call an alligator in a vest?
An in-vest-igator.
24 / 177
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality. Thought that was good? Y'all'll love these tea puns!
25 / 177
A homo and a giraffe walk into a bar.
Afterwards a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
"Hey, you can't exit that lyin' in that location!" The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: "It's not a lion. Information technology's a giraffe."
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The wedding was so cute.
Even the block was in tiers.
28 / 177
Why don't dinosaurs talk?
Because they're expressionless. Don't forget to check out these dinosaur jokes for more laughs!
29 / 177
A dyslexic human being walks into a bra.
Get it?
30 / 177
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
32 / 177
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Brand me one with everything.
33 / 177
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"Supplies!"
34 / 177
It'south inappropriate to make a "dad joke" if you are not a dad.
It's a simulated pa.
35 / 177
What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison!
37 / 177
My new thesaurus is terrible.
Not only that, just information technology'southward also terrible.
38 / 177
What practice y'all call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
Bob.
39 / 177
What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?
A modest medium at large.
forty / 177
What's the almost terrifying word in nuclear physics?
"Oops!" If biology is more your thing, check out these biological science jokes that really cell themselves.
42 / 177
Three fish are in a tank.
One asks the others, "How do y'all bulldoze this thing?"
43 / 177
What's the dumbest beast in the jungle?
A polar bear.
44 / 177
What exercise you call a human who tin can't stand?
Neil.
45 / 177
I used to exist addicted to the hokey pokey…
… but then I turned myself around.
47 / 177
I don't trust stairs.
They're always up to something.
48 / 177
Wife: "How do I look?"
Husband: "With your eyes."
49 / 177
What's the all-time part about living in Switzerland?
I don't know, only the flag is a large plus.
50 / 177
Have you heard the rumor about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn't be spreading it.
52 / 177
I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing contest to see if whatsoever of them fabricated the finals.
Sadly, no pun in x did.
53 / 177
RIP, boiled water.
Y'all will exist mist .
54 / 177
What do y'all phone call a Frenchman in sandals?
Phillipe Floppe .
55 / 177
eBay is and so useless.
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was xiii,749 matches.
56 / 177
Wanna hear ii brusk jokes and a long joke?
Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke . We can all relate to these funny working from home cartoons correct now.
57 / 177
I made a playlist for hiking. Information technology has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I telephone call it my trail mix.
58 / 177
What exercise y'all do if y'all see a fireman?
Put it out, human being!
59 / 177
That's a pretty good ceiling.
It's not the best, simply it's up there!
60 / 177
I wrote a vocal nearly a tortilla.
Really, it's more of a wrap.
62 / 177
Did you hear virtually the kidnapping at school?
Information technology'southward ok, he woke up.
63 / 177
What'due south the difference betwixt a hippo and a Aught?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
64 / 177
Why do you never see pigs hiding in trees?
Because they're pretty skilful at it.
65 / 177
You want to go downwards to the bar to hear that ring called Duvet?
They're a comprehend ring.
67 / 177
What practice you lot phone call a crocodile that is also a detective?
An investi -gator.
68 / 177
The only thing apartment earthers have to fear. ..
…is sphere itself.
69 / 177
Name i fragrance commercial that has ever made sense.
What are you lot talking well-nigh, they all make scents!
70 / 177
Where did Noah proceed his bees?
In the Ark Hives.
72 / 177
What genre are national anthems?
State.
73 / 177
I detest Russian dolls.
They're then full of themselves.
74 / 177
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts thirteen bees out onto the counter.
"That's one too many!" says the customer. The clerk replies "It'due south a freebie."
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I tin cut a slice of woods in one-half just by looking at information technology.
Yous might not believe me, just I saw it with my ain optics.
76 / 177
Did y'all adopt your domestic dog?
No, he'due south my biological dog. Check out these other dog jokes that are pawsitively hilarious.
77 / 177
I bought the newlyweds an elephant for their room.
They said, "Thank you lot." I said, "Don't mention it."
78 / 177
A limbo champ walks into a bar.
He loses.
79 / 177
When the moon hits your knees, and you mispronounce trees
Sycamore
80 / 177
How do y'all brand holy water?
You eddy the hell out of information technology.
82 / 177
What did the frustrated true cat say?
Are you kitten me correct meow? Cat hiss ridiculous.
83 / 177
When does a joke get a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
84 / 177
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Club.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge. I bet they are excited about flattening the curve, though.
85 / 177
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady asked me to check her remainder, and so I pushed her over.
86 / 177
My wife just completed a 40 -week body building program this morning time.
It'south a daughter and weighs seven pounds, 12 ounces. Not to throw more numbers at you lot, but we have 50 jokes here for all 50 states.
87 / 177
Why are at that place so many different kinds of pasta?
If I had a penne for every fourth dimension I asked myself this question.
88 / 177
What did The Stone say when the waiter offered him a box for his leftovers?
I'm non much of a boxer, but I'll wrestle you lot for it.
89 / 177
Where do yous have someone who's been injured in a peek – a-boo blow?
To the I.C.U.
90 / 177
Nurse: Blood blazon?
Dad: Cerise. By the way, yous'll love these nurse jokes that are RN-believably funny.
91 / 177
A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, "xix ! xix! 19! 19!" Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence.
S omeone from the other side pokes him in the centre and they all outset shouting, "twenty! 20! 20!" Hither are the all-time jokes from A-Z!
92 / 177
I went to a wedding where 2 satellite dishes got married.
The anniversary wasn't peachy, but the reception was amazing.
93 / 177
What practise yous telephone call a wizard who lost their magic?
Ian.
94 / 177
Why can't yous explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They ever take things literally.
95 / 177
What practise yous telephone call a blind dinosaur?
A do-you-recall-he-saurus.
96 / 177
I had a flake implanted in my body.
It was a Cool Ranch Dorito. Yum!
97 / 177
Why is Peter Pan always flight?
He neverlands . We dearest this joke because information technology never grows old.
98 / 177
To kill a French vampire, you need to drive a baguette through its heart.
Sounds like shooting fish in a barrel but the process is painstaking.
99 / 177
What practise we want? Depression-flying airplane noises! When do nosotros want them?
NNNNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!
100 / 177
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Wow, I've never seen a weasel before. What tin can I get you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
102 / 177
Today I gave my dead batteries away.
They were costless of charge.
103 / 177
Why practice ghosts love elevators?
It lifts their spirits.
104 / 177
Five guys walk into a bar.
Yous think one of them would've seen it.
105 / 177
Who are caterpillars' biggest enemies?
Dogerpillars.
107 / 177
Why practise you tell actors to break a leg?
Every play has a cast.
108 / 177
What practise you lot telephone call an empty tin of Cheese Whiz?
Cheese Was.
109 / 177
Someone stole my mood ring.
I don't know how I feel about that.
110 / 177
What kind of dogs love car racing?
Lap dogs.
112 / 177
My favorite word is "drool."
It simply rolls off the tongue.
113 / 177
I just wrote a volume on reverse psychology.
Do not read it.
114 / 177
What do you call birds who stick together?
Vel-crows.
115 / 177
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
117 / 177
Where do spaghetti and sauce become to dance?
The meatball.
118 / 177
What do yous get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk. If you thought this was funny, you'll love our other cow jokes!
119 / 177
This library has ii stories.
Can hardly phone call it a library.
120 / 177
I like to spend every day as if it's my last.
Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding.
122 / 177
How does your feline shop?
By reading a catalog.
123 / 177
What exercise you call a factory that sells passable products?
Satisfactory.
124 / 177
What do yous call a unsafe sun shower?
A rain of terror.
125 / 177
What do yous call a farm that makes bad jokes?
Corny.
126 / 177
What'due south the last thing that goes through a problems's mind when information technology hits a windshield?
Its butt. Oop! Endeavor these political jokes on for size at your side by side family holiday—they're guaranteed to get you a laugh.
127 / 177
What happens when a frog'south automobile breaks downwards?
It gets toad.
128 / 177
I went on a in one case-in-a-lifetime vacation.
Never again.
129 / 177
Parallel lines take and then much in mutual.
Information technology's a shame they'll never meet.
130 / 177
What did Batman say to Robin earlier they got in the car?
"Robin, get in the car."
133 / 177
I took the beat out off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
If anything, it made him more than sluggish.
134 / 177
My friend gave me his Epi–Pen as he was dying.
Information technology seemed very important to him that I have information technology. Read these best friend tweets for more laughs.
135 / 177
Have yous heard of Irish potato'southward Constabulary? Ok, but have you lot heard of Cole's Law?
It's thinly-sliced cabbage.
137 / 177
Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn't talk well-nigh information technology?
John 12:49: "For I did non speak of my ain accord."
138 / 177
How do you talk to Italian ghosts?
With a Luigi lath.
139 / 177
Time flies similar an pointer.
Fruit flies like a banana. Don't forget to bookmark these fruit puns that are drupe funny!
140 / 177
Ii cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, "You ever worry well-nigh that mad cow illness?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'thousand a helicopter."
141 / 177
What'due south E.T. brusque for?
He's merely got little legs. Science lovers will science-love these physics jokes!
142 / 177
2 men come across on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to the other "I need you lot to help me to get to the other side!"
The other guy shouts, "You are on the other side!"
143 / 177
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
144 / 177
What came outset, the chicken or the egg?
Rubber. Safety always comes first. In the case of these hilarious egg puns, the egg always comes offset.
145 / 177
This is your captain speaking.
AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.
147 / 177
Coroner died.
However went to work. If you thought that was funny, you'll love these work from home jokes.
148 / 177
Which rock group has four guys who can't sing or play instruments?
Mountain Rushmore.
149 / 177
I bought a domestic dog from a locksmith.
The 2d I got him in the house he made a bolt for the door.
150 / 177
What's the difference between ignorance and aloofness?
I don't know and I don't intendance.
152 / 177
My girlfriend broke upwards with me considering I quote Linkin Park too much.
Merely in the end, it doesn't even matter.
153 / 177
What do you phone call bears with no ears?
B.
154 / 177
What's a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.
155 / 177
What did the swordfish say to the marlin?
You're lookin' sharp.
156 / 177
What kind of ghost has the best hearing?
The eeriest. If you express mirth at these dark jokes, you lot're probably a genius.
157 / 177
Where can you buy soup in bulk?
The stock marketplace.
158 / 177
How exercise you lot finish a bull from charging?
Cancel its credit bill of fare.
159 / 177
What was the frog'south job at the hotel?
Bellhop.
160 / 177
Why are the Irish so wealthy?
Their upper-case letter is Dublin.
162 / 177
What kind of shoes do robbers wear?
Sneakers.
163 / 177
Why did the invisible human being refuse the job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing it.
164 / 177
Why are frogs so happy?
They consume whatsoever bugs them.
165 / 177
What do you call banana peel shoes?
Slippers.
166 / 177
Did you hear almost the cheese manufactory that exploded in France?
There was goose egg left but de Brie. Cheese is classic joke fodder. Here are 17 classic light seedling jokes that'll make you lot sound smart.
167 / 177
Why were they called the Dark Ages?
At that place were lots of knights. If you accept more of a twisted sense of sense of humour, these dark jokes are for you.
168 / 177
My boss just texted me,
"Transport me one of your funny jokes!"
169 / 177
Want to hear a roof joke?
This ane's on the house.
170 / 177
What kind of pants does Mario wear?
Denim, denim, denim.
171 / 177
Where does the general keep his armies?
In his sleevies. This joke is very cuties. Here are 9 secrets to telling a great joke, co-ordinate to comedians.
172 / 177
How does the squid go into battle?
Well-armed.
173 / 177
I broke my finger last calendar week.
On the other manus, I'k ok.
174 / 177
Exercise you utilise your right hand to stir your coffee?
I use a spoon. Check out these relatable tweets for more laughs.
175 / 177
You're not completely useless.
You can e'er serve as a bad example. Past the fashion, we're serving upwards these ice cream puns just for you lot—check them out!
176 / 177
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle proper name. Here are 15 simple (and featherbrained) April Fool'south jokes to play on your kids.
177 / 177
What exercise you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Sources:
- Buzzfeed, "21 Clean Jokes That Are And so Dumb They're Actually Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "21 Dad Jokes And then Ridiculous, I'm Nearly Mad At Myself For Laughing"
- Buzzfeed, "18 Punny Jokes That Accept No Right To Exist As Hilarious As They Are"
- Buzzfeed, "100 Dad Jokes Yous're Going To Detest Laughing At Then Hard"
- Buzzfeed, "If You're Tired Of The Same Old Dad Jokes, Here Are 19 Very Funny New Ones"
- Buzzfeed, "23 Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They're Skillful"
- Buzzfeed, "Sorry, But There'south No Way Y'all Won't At Least Smile At Any Of These Dad Jokes"
- Buzzfeed, "25 Jokes And Puns From National Tell A Joke Day That Might Brand Y'all Roll Your Eyes"
- Buzzfeed, "13 Absolutely Hilarious Jokes Told In Movies"
- Buzzfeed, "Every Weird And Awkward Person Will Detect These 17 Tweets Hilarious For No Particular Reason"
- Buzzfeed, "Reddit Is Sharing Their Best Jokes, Here Are 17 Really Funny Ones"
- Buzzfeed, "17 Dad Jokes That Fabricated Me Groan, Scroll My Eyes, So Echo To My Friends"
- Buzzfeed, "18 Jokes That Will Make Yous Express mirth Even If You're Having A Bad Day"
- Buzzfeed, "27 Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids That Are Actually Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "xix Twitter Jokes That Are But Very, Very Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "We All Dear Dad Jokes — But How Many Of The Punchlines Do Yous Actually Know?"
- Best Life, "150 Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Funny"
- Bored Panda, "52 Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever"
- Reddit, "What's a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time?"
- Best Life, "xl Hilarious Jokes No 1 Is Too Former to Laugh At"
- Parade, "Ha Ha Ha—101 Corny Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Funny Good"
- Fatherly, "55 Great Clean Jokes for Funny People Who Don't Swear"
Originally Published: January 19, 2022
Source: https://www.rd.com/list/bad-jokes-cant-help-laugh-at/
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